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by Jeremy Dyson & Andy Nyman, directed by Jeremy Dyson, Sean Holmes & Andy Nyman

Lyric Hammersmith/Mirvish Production, Panasonic Theatre, Toronto

April 12-May 29, 2011

There’s no point mincing words.  Ghost Stories is a waste of time.  It’s about as scary as the cheesy “haunted house” at the CNE.  Some of its comedy is intentional, but much more is unintentional.  What’s the point of trying to put horror movie clichés on stage?  They are still clichés and they work better on film.

The show’s premise is that we are attending a lecture by parapsychologist Professor Philip Goodman (Jason Blicker as more of a bogus life coach than professor), known for debunking people’s tales of the supernatural.  If this is a lecture, why is the theatre covered in police tape and caution lights and why is it preceded by a soundtrack of a howling wind, clanking and dripping?  Are we supposed to be scared of Goodman?  Perhaps so, since his potted history of the supernatural is so egregiously Eurocentric, claiming, for example, that the first mention of ghosts is by Pope Gregory I (c. 540-604). 

Goodman claims he has encountered only three cases that remain unexplained.  Each begins with Goodman’s interview of the subject that then segues into the subject’s first-person narrative and finally into a re-enactment of the encounter.  Tony (Jack Langedijk, the most convincing of three) is alone in a dingy warehouse.  Simon (played as a rather dim nerd by David Reale) is driving a car that breaks down in a misty forest.  Mike (a vacant Darrin Baker) has an empty nursery where there is more activity than there should be.  Some tension does mount during the interview and narrative sections, but it dissipates entirely when the “ghosts” take all-too-physical form on stage.  The show brings up the the notion that ghosts are the product of pareidolia or the tendency of the human mind to create images out of random stimuli.  This would be a fascinating idea for a show except that Ghost Stories refuses to follow it.  

“Keep telling yourself it’s only a show,” the production’s slogan, is rot.  Where else but on stage do people live in wall-less rooms or drive wheel-less cars?  Jon Bausor’s ingenious set designs combined James Farncombe’s chiaroscuro lighting are more successful in suggesting unknown dangers than anything the actors say or do.  If you’re in the mood for a pseudo-documentary about the supernatural, far better to re-rent The Blair Witch Project or Paranormal Activity, than spend 80 tepid minutes with Ghost Stories.  

©Christopher Hoile

Note: A version of this review appeared in Eye Weekly 2011-04-14.

Photo: Jack Langedijk. ©Mirvish Production.